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Sunday, April 19, 2009

everytime i want something.
and i pretty much get it.
for awhile.
then it pretty much gets taken away.
and then i get what i want again.
for awhile.
and.
i hate changes.
let me rephrase that.
i hate changes that are so freaking huge that it pretty much takes me one year to get used to it either way and then once i'm used to it, stuff changes up again.

sometimes when you stand on top of a mountain, it feels like you have it all.
until you find yourself falling.

i don't know what i want anymore.
cos everything i want comes with too heavy a price.

i know i always say destiny is for yourself to build, that you can make your own fate. but right now... im just too sick of trying to control destiny. i'm too sick of trying to grow up faster. if i stay here, i'll be stuck in something that was only meant to be temporary. if i go home, i lose my possiblities of getting a 4 year degree in four years. if i go to thailand i'm going to have to adjust all over again and let's just say i don't wanna do that.

i had it all planned out.
im jus SO SO very frustrated.

& it's a new day at{ 9:15 PM

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